A COMPLICATED LIFE

I have done some terrible things over the years, none that I am proud of and would definitely not utter to anyone.  What can I say, there’s a demon that lives within, one that I am in a battle to tame. I do have an active conscience but unfortunately, there are times when my demon is successful in silencing it, but, I would want to think that majority of the times, my conscience prevails.  It is that awareness, that active conscience, that confirms to me that I am not lost. “CONSCIENCE IS WHAT HURTS WHEN EVERYTHING ELSE FEELS SO GOOD” “THE HUMAN VOICE CAN NEVER REACH THE DISTANCE THAT IS COVERED BY THE STILL SMALL VOICE OF CONSCIENCE.” – MAHATMA GANDHI

I often don't see a new year as a new year. To me, it's just a continuation of life. Either to do the same things you've always done or make a new path.  After reflecting, I admit that I've made mistakes along the way, I have wronged and disappointed those I care about (and don't care about). I have become a very impatient and at times selfish person. Very insecure. I've been out of control and a lot of times hard to be near, speak to or tolerate. Which may have to do with my ever-growing cynicism.  My hope is that those I've hurt and downright pissed off will forgive me and continue this journey with me as I continue to find ways to correct the many flaws of my inner self.  I am who I am but I will do my best to adjust the things that hurt me and others.  "As the year comes to a close, it is a time for reflection – a time to release old thoughts and beliefs and forgive old hurts."

“We will open the book. Its pages are blank. We are going to put words on them ourselves. The book is called Opportunity and its first chapter is New Year's Day.” - Edith Lovejoy